Crappy day

I've had a crappy diabetes day today, I've not wanted to really bother with it today. Every so often I have these day where I just want to stop the insulin and just be ignorant to it. I know this is not the best of ideas and would never do it , I just get fed up of it all. Unless your a diabetic or someone with an illness that you have to battle with you will never truly know what it feels like.

I just want to loose weight without the worry of hypos, not be worried all the time with what I eat or how much insulin I need to take. I constantly seem to hypo at work and feel so bad having to go to the  kitchen ( 5 seconds from work desk) just for lucozade and a snack. I gulp it down and eat something quickly just to get back to work. I know I shouldn't be ashamed of it, I never chose to be a diabetic but I constantly worry that people think oh there she goes again having a hypo.

My husband is fab with it and couldn't ask for anything better. He is always on the ball with it , I feel sorry for the hypos I've had and often wonder if he's ever reached breaking point with the amount I've had with him.

I just need a big cry, I'm just fed up of it. 

Hypos are the part I hate , I don't worry to much about the highs but the lows I hate . I want to get it right I really do but I never can . I go through a few weeks of being perfect then bang it's gone again. I know I should be more focused on it but no matter what I do the hypos coming think and fast. My son has only seen one and I hope that's the only one.  I hope to tell him soon when he understands what to do if I ever have a fit . 

I just worry one day I will have a huge fit and I will just be in the wrong place at the wrong time. 

Sorry for the moan just need to get it off my chest. I have a great friend who we only talk via messages but we keep each other going and understand the daily worries/ feelings we have. 

Faye xx