This year has been full up of hypos and growing amounts of insulin .
The main reason was my pregnancy and I wouldn't change it.
I still wish I didn't have it , it's such a pain and with expressing all I want to do is ear junk which isn't good :-( my average sugar blood test was lowest at 7.9 I think and have had one recently but need to find out what it is .
It's never going to be easy and I wish it was . I hate having to think what's the carbs in this . Should I eat it and will I have a hypo .
Hypos are the main thing I hate being as a diabetic and no matter how many years I have it I don't think I will step out and not worry about them .
I've lost count . I keep thinking I should tell my eldest of the children what to do if I was ever to collapse . I always carry a tag saying in diabetic but where I live some one probably wouldn't know what to do or think I was a bit loopy .
Caleb is coming on 5 so better make a plan. I try and carry lucozade or something sweet with me at all time and caleb calls it my medicine .
I'm hoping to send off my driving license for renewal and I'm hoping the dr will allow me to learn again with my hypos . I know I will need it to be higher when I drive as my sugars can be so erratic and to be honest I would never drive with it being below a certain level anyway .
I have a few pages on my Facebook ayhat I can have a moan on and talk to people when I need advice . Unless your a diabetic no one knows what you go through .
There's new news on a possible cure something to do with making new cells that do something with your body and is a temporary cure . I haven't read it properly and maybe I should but I still fear there won't be a cure and I will be diabetic always.
The one wish I want is that none of my kids get it. It's bad enough me looking after myself with it let alone it happening to them.
My lifeline is my pump and I would be lost without it. I've learnt through having problems with my eyes and complications with pregnancy it's not worth messing about with.
Majority of people say don't let it beat you , you beat it . But I will always be in te middle of that. I'm not perfect far from it but I know my limits and just wish I could press a button to correct a hypo or correct my insulin rates just for that perfect hba1c.
Maybe next year without the expressing and esmae at school I will have time to sit down and get it right. Have the perfect rates for my body and eat what I want and not rebound for it.
No matter what you do speak to people who understand being a diabetic . I have a great friend who I text every day and we keep each motivated . It's just easy trying to tell someone how it works but just being there for them gives you a boost they need .
It makes me feel better that they know how I feel when I say my sugar is x.x and they don't Judge or I say I've had some Chocolate and they don't snap at me saying don't do that .
Still I worry about hypos in the street and what peope think. I do check my bold more in public now and wear my pump on my arm without hiding it .
I had one person ask me what it was the once and I explained and they made me feel like I was a cripple if I'm honest . I know it's a big thing to have but I've had it for long enough to know what it's like. As the years have gone by I find myself defensive of being a diabetic . Still drs think your textbook and that you can have a perfect balance but that's not the case .
Having 3 kids means I might eat my breakfast on time but things that go on in the day push things aside so 12 o'clock lunch might actually be at 11 am just so I know I've eaten .
It's becoming more well known but the number of peope becoming diabetic is growing to . It's a life time of something that no one wants .
I just want to step outside without the constant need of sugar or added insulin .
17 years I'm starting to understand it all and not be silly. Yes I have chocolate and sweets but I count for it and make sure I'm ok before bed.
Please don't be afraid to talk to people about it . It's not easy no matter how long you have had it.
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