Baby cuddles

My not so little cody is growing up quick but I'm loving every moment with him. I can't believe he's 2 1/2 months already .

I wanted a post about his latest cuddles .

Nothing is more pleasing than having a cuddle from cody and here's a few photos of him snuggled up :-)

Can't believe how big he is getting .

Faye xx

Mixed emotions

My mind is all over the place at the moment with everything changing .

Caleb starting school , selling the flat and the birth of cody .

I am so happy with my life right now and want it to continue .

Caleb had a party today and it filled me so much pride that how much people have said how polite he is . This makes me  feel amazing . Through all the tantyms and tears at least I know he says his please and thank you's and this makes me feel that pride knowing me and my husband have brought him Up well. Esmae is getting there and we keep working at it . She does understand once you have given her something she needs to say thank you .

My other mixed emotions are the felling of loneliness as I do miss my husband at the night no matter how much I love the bed to myself . Plus it's suddenly hit me my kids are growing up too quick and no matter how hard they are being I wish they would stay little.

I have been into the kids room A few times tonight . Looked at the photos on the wall missing them as a baby.

Cody is next to me sleeping and every now and again he gives a sigh.

I love my family to bits just wish time wouldn't go so quick.

Faye x

Growing up to quick

My kids are growing up to quick .

When caleb came along , time when steady and at times I couldn't wait for school . Esmae came along and the time has gone so quick . Everything seems a blur how is she 2 already .

Now Cody is here I want time to slow down with him being my last .

I always miss them at night . The flat is peaceful . I never know if I should tidy or sleep and to be honest sleep wins most I of the time . Especially with the early risers .

They really aren't babies long . Cherish every minute . I would never change how  I did things as that's what made them who they are and they are happy so I'm obviously doing something right .

Enjoy every feed breast or bottle . Enjoy every second of sleep , sharing your bed or in a crib next you . Enjoy every walk , every car or bus ride . Enjoy every moment . Times will be hard as they grow but remember they are only small once . I always thought we would spoil my kids as a baby if I held them all the time and that's not the truth . You can never spoil them with to much love.

Do it your way , try not to worry what  others think .

Since having caleb I have realised no child is perfect . And what makes it better is my friends understand and the person in the shop with the screaming kid is going through the same .

Kiss the goodnight , hold them tight they are only little once . 

As I finish this I can hear Cody grunt and breathe and makes  me smile . No matter  how you do things it doesn't matter what others say . Enjoy being a parent and make the most of them being small and needing you . ❤️❤️❤️

Sometimes you have to drop everything

Friday night and I'm so glad tomorrow isn't a school day.

I feel like I have so much to do but not enough time when its a school day . But because tomorrow isn't school I don't have to worry.

This little man is fighting sleep . He's been fed and changed and now needs a nap but isn't having any of it so I've dropped all I need to do for cuddles with cody. I think he wants cuddles to.

To be honest all I have to do is that up but there feels like lots. So a sit down it is .

Babies grow up to quick and I see that with my other to so when cody needs a cuddle I make the most of it .

Hes 9 weeks already and it's going past to quick . 

30 mins later and cosy is still wide awake 😃.

I think he's hungry by the way he's fidgeting on me .

No early night for me but means a lazy day for us all tomorrow x

Another year diabetic

Another year more bloods and hospital visits.

This year has been full up of hypos and growing amounts of insulin .

The main reason was my pregnancy and I wouldn't change it. 

I still wish I didn't have it , it's such a pain and with expressing all I want to do is ear junk which isn't good :-( my average sugar blood test was lowest at 7.9 I think and have had one recently but need to find out what it is . 

It's never going to be easy and I wish it was . I hate having to think what's the carbs in this . Should I eat it and will I have a hypo . 

Hypos are the main thing I hate being as a diabetic and no matter how many years I have it I don't think I will step out and not worry about them .

I've lost count . I keep thinking I should tell my eldest of the children what to do if I was ever to collapse . I always carry a tag saying in diabetic but where I live some one probably wouldn't know what to do or think I was a bit loopy .

Caleb is coming on 5 so better make a plan. I try and carry lucozade or something sweet with me at all time and caleb calls it my medicine . 

I'm hoping to send off my driving license for renewal and I'm hoping the dr will allow me to learn again with my hypos . I know I will need it to be higher when I drive as my sugars can be so erratic and to be honest I would never drive with it being below a certain level anyway .

I have a few pages on my Facebook ayhat I can have a moan on and talk to people when I need advice . Unless your a diabetic no one knows what you go through .

There's new news on a possible cure something to do with making new cells that do something with your body and is a temporary cure . I haven't read it properly and maybe I should but I still fear there won't be a cure and I will be diabetic always.

The one wish I want is that none of my kids get it. It's bad enough me looking after myself with it let alone it happening to them.

My lifeline is my pump and I would be lost without it. I've learnt through having problems with my eyes and complications with pregnancy it's not worth messing about with.

Majority of people say don't let it beat you , you beat it . But I will always be in te middle of that. I'm not perfect far from it but I know my limits and just wish I could press a button to correct a hypo or correct my insulin rates just for that perfect hba1c.

Maybe next year without the expressing and esmae at school I will have time to sit down and get it right. Have the perfect rates for my body and eat what I want and not rebound for it.

No matter what you do speak to people who understand being a diabetic . I have a great friend who I text every day and we keep each motivated . It's just easy trying to tell someone how it works but just being there for them gives you a boost they need .

It makes me feel better that they know how I feel when I say my sugar is x.x and they don't Judge or I say I've had some Chocolate and they don't snap at me saying don't do that .

Still I worry about hypos in the street and what peope think. I do check my bold more in public now and wear my pump on my arm without hiding it .

I had one person ask me what it was the once and I explained and they made me feel like I was a cripple if I'm honest . I know it's a big thing to have but I've had it for long enough to know what it's like. As the years have gone by I find myself defensive of being a diabetic . Still drs think your textbook and that you can have a perfect balance but that's not the case .

Having 3 kids means I might eat my breakfast on time but things that go on in the day push things aside so 12 o'clock lunch might actually be at 11 am just so I know I've eaten . 

It's becoming more well known but the number of peope becoming diabetic is growing to . It's a life time of something that no one wants .

I just want to step outside without the constant need of sugar or added insulin .

17 years I'm starting to understand it all and not be silly. Yes I have chocolate and sweets but I count for it and make sure I'm ok before bed.

Please don't be afraid to talk to people about it . It's not easy no matter how long you have had it.

8 weeks old

Today Cody is 8 weeks old weighing 12lb  9.

He's my little chunk and still an average baby on the graph so his constant eating is t doing him any harm.

Today was jab day to and he screamed so hard . Luckily after a few mins he was settled but I think he's got a cold coming and he's got a snuffly nose . Luckily lying in his front is helping him sleep and I can express .

He's going through a hungry stage at the moment and think he just likes a full belly and by 2 hrs after a bottle he gets hungry . I was going to go to the breast feeding group to ask for advice as I don't remember esmae like this . Luckily I read something on Kellymom I think saying it takes 90 mins for breast milk to digest and is probably why he doesn't go long sometimes and also if at night when I breast feed him he takes what he wants so could just be top ups for him and wonder if he still only wants 4oz each time .

I wouldn't change it , just need to use some freezer milk as some is coming up to 3 months and want him not to have big back up . I'm wondering if it will come  nearer to weaning him for food I will use the freezer milk for porridge and his food .

I sti hate it though that the hv double asks if he's fully express fed just because they don't think you can do it . It's hard work but it's my achievrment and bond I get especially breastfeeding at night.

Exclusively breast fed :-)

Sitting here in the bed feeding Cody is the best feeling .im so glad we can bottle and breast feed to. I sometimes think am I lazy for not completely breast feeding but then I remind myself he is to a point .

Just because he has my milk in a bottle doesn't mean he's not . Nearly 2 months in and probably since day 3 he's been exclusively breast milk and I couldn't be happier .

I'm not so confident with the while bf in public if I'm honest so it scares me and jus we have a routine with expressing I don't think I want to break it . It's hard work and I have times where I want to Ditch the pump but I carry on .

The times are hard when I don't want to pump , be able about bit getting sore if I leave it too long but then I remember I did it for esmae and what a good feeling it gives me .

My personal reason is I feel it helped esmae stay away from dr visits and rarely gets ill . Where's as caleb suffered with his ears and was always getting colds . It also keeps my diabetes on track to a point just wish I ate better so I could loose some extra pounds .

I love the feeling after he has fed and finishes a feed with a let go then snuggles into me . So relaxed and fast asleep . 

The night and early feeds are so much easier and we get to snuggle quite close . I love waking up to see him warm and Cosey .

It's hard when someone asks if he's breast fed and I struggle and explain he's expressed milk in a bottle then realise he more or less breast fed .

The one thing is I know he's gaining weight and he's not so small . He's quite a chunk .

Weight check Wednesday and my scales read 16lb. :-)